Just when I was about to give up hope for the leadership of our country, I see that some Republican leaders have their heads on straight and are taking appropriate and necessary actions to break the deadlock at the UN. Their radical suggestion that we abandon the use of the word "French" in such delightful culinary delights as French Fries and French Toast is the kind of diplomacy that politicians today haven't the balls to undertake. Not only have they taken a productive stance on the exclusion the name of the seditious nation of France, but they suggested that we substitute the beautiful term FREEDOM! in its stead. For proper effect, FREEDOM! must always be screamed aloud with the emotion of Mel Gibson's William Wallace as he is drawn and quartered alive.
On second thought, though, we shouldn't use that rebel Wallace as an example, especially considering that he was fucking a Frenchie by the end of the movie. That she was forced into marriage with a faggot English prince doesn't doesn't excuse her from her heritage.
But back to the menu:
"This action today is a small, but symbolic effort to show the strong displeasure of many on Capitol Hill with the actions of our so-called ally, France," said Rep. Bob Ney, R-Ohio, the chairman of the Committee on House Administration. Ney, whose committee has authority over the House cafeterias, directed the change, after colleague Walter Jones, R-North Carolina, circulated a letter suggesting such a move. Jones said he was following the example of a local restaurant owner in his North Carolina district.
These great congressman have also broken with the current administration and have chosen to base their policy decisions on the attitudes of their constituency. How refreshing to finally have leaders willing to stick their necks out, listen to We, The People, and do something about the Handbasket to Hell (with gravy!) that we're riding on these days. Bravo!
I propose we go one further and announce the Free the Fucking Frogs From the Faggoty French Foundation Front. We know that none of the denizens of that country really want to be French and would rather by FREE! and the FFFFFFFF aims to offer sematic support by eliminating the root and derivatives of that evil word from the languages of the world. The nation of France shall henceforth be called "Freedom Zone #1 of Western Europe with 2 Coasts, one on the Atlantic and one on the Mediterranean." In deference to the consonant F, we shall refer to the people of Freedom Zone #1 as Freedomites (although Freedominians is an acceptable local variant). This effort will undoubtedly liberate the Freedomites from the evil weight of being known as French and the lift of their collective self-esteem will give rise to World Peace and the eliminate of Weapons of Mass Destruction everywhere!
Solidarity, brothers!
In other news, I was elated to find that mall security in New York is doing its part to squelch opposition to the war in Iraq. Who the fuck do those assholes who wore "Peace on Earth" shirts think they are, wearing T-Shirts emblazoned with such liberal tripe in a public food court? And considering that these weren't just off-the-rack propaganda but were actually order made, I think that we ought to give these ignorant buttards a real opportunity to express their opinions by drawing and quartering them in a public arena. The food court would be as good a place as any, I imagine.
FREEDOM!
Posted by Nutrimentia at March 13, 2003 11:41 AM | TrackBack